


Whatever It Takes

by britishatheart



Series: Steve and Cath - It's Complicated... [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Third Person Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:46:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishatheart/pseuds/britishatheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After four months apart, Steve and Cath are face to face again. Now, they'll see if distance and time brought them closer to one another or if love was really not enough...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Hawaii Five-0 and related characters belong to its creator, Leonard Freeman.

_"I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around_

_I know what's at stake_

_I know that I've let you down_

_But if you give me a chance, believe that I can change_

_I'll keep us together whatever it takes..."_

**Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes**

* * *

_I can't honestly believe my eyes. Is it really Catherine? What am I saying... Of course it is Catherine. I'm sure of it. But... What is she doing here?_

* * *

   Steve resumed his walking, his steps still ever so quietly as he made his way to his porch. Catherine didn't react to his presence; she was sitting on a chair next to the door, not moving.

   "Catherine?" His question came out as a whisper, but it was loud enough for her to listen. They weren't too distant, only a couple of yards from each other. Yet, he didn't have an answer and, whether he liked it or not, his instincts kicked in and Steve's mind automatically jumped to the worst thoughts he could have — why she wasn't answering? Was she hurt?

   "Cath?" His tone became more urgent as he closed the space between the two of them. Still, no answer. She was sitting on the chair, her eyes still shut closed, her head was resting on her right shoulder and there was a black trench coat lying on top of her, leaving only her head uncovered. "No..."

   Steve dropped to his knee in front of her; he hesitated to reach to her neck and check her pulse. What if he found out her blood wasn't pumping anymore? So then, why would she be there? Was it some sort of warning? But from who? Or why Cath? He was giving his brain too much room for working and with nothing.

   His two finger lingered halfway to Cath's pulsing point. Even though Steve was worried wick with the lack of pretty much everything, he never touched her. He was just thinking about her. He had just decided to fight for Cath and then—

   "Steve..."

   Steve was still on his knees, one hand providing him steadiness and the other - the other was holding his head as he debated what the choices were when he heard the weak whisper that made him look instantly at the woman on the chair.

   "Cath! Thankgod... Are you alright?"

   His tone was a bit urgent and his eyes were scanning every inch of her body, those two thing combined made Cath sat straight. She knew his instincts were taking over him.

   "I'm fine," she said, and heard her voice sound husky and low, not exactly in conformity to the words she was saying. "I'm alright, I promise," she insisted.

   Steve believed Cath's words, but only after the second time she said it. He was relieved to know that she was okay and not hurt, but then, this insistent question returned to his head. Why is she here? In the middle of the night?

   In the middle of the night. Cath had touched Steve's harm and he realized her touch was a bit cold; she must have been sitting there for quite a long time in the cold breeze.

   "You're freezing," he said when he touched her cheeks with the back of his hand.

   Cath tried to tell him one more time she was fine but Steve didn't listen.

   "How long have you been here?"

   She looked at the sky that was painted in black; when she got there, it wasn't like that. Cath checked her watch; 1:34 am. It's been long three hours since she got there.

   "Uh- a while..." It wasn't exactly a precise answer but Cath didn't see a point in telling Steve she'd been there for that long.

   "Come on," he said standing and reaching out a hand to Cath. "Let's get inside."

   She hesitated for a second before taking Steve's hand and following him through the doors and into his house. Without noticing it, Catherine held her breath before putting one foot in his living room.

   It was all still the same. The same couch, the same curtains, the same coffee table and it was still arranged in the same position. Nothing changed.

   Cath felt a shiver go down her spine and all the way back up to her neck. Flashes of the night before her departure came like a thunderstorm, lightning her fears and shadowing her hopes.

 _Don't even think about it, Catherine,_ she thought to herself when Steve let go of her hand. _You will not back down again._

   She wouldn't.

   But it was a little weird to be back. Back to his place. Appearing totally out of the blue in his life when she was the one to leave. It was awkward, and the awkwardness of the situation seemed to fill the whole place and close its arms around Steve.

   He was surprised to see Cath there, especially when he had decided he'd call her in the morning. If Steve believed in fate, that's how he'd name it. But he didn't, and to him, it was just a strange coincidence — even though he didn't believe in such thing either.

   "Can I get you anything?" Steve asked, trying to fill the awkward silence that settled. "Maybe some coffee? Tea?" He was to offer wine but decided not to.

   "Tea would be nice."

   "Alright. You know the place. Make yourself at home."

   Cath bit her lower lip. Even though she knew his place, right now, she felt like a stranger in a strange place... She was having to think a lot to find out what to do next; what to say, when to say, where to go... After Steve disappeared into his kitchen, Cath sat on his sofa, next to the window.

 _"God, this is gonna be hard,"_ she whispered to herself while closing her eyes and leaning back.

   It's been over seven hours since Cath was back to Hawaii and, since then, except for falling asleep in Steve's porch, she practically didn't stop.

   Her plane landed at 6:18pm and the first thing she did was to go straight to Pearl to meet with her former superior that wanted to speak with her.

   She stayed at the Naval Base for a little over two hours before leaving — a Petty Officer was murdered and there was an investigation happening but she didn't pay much attention to it; she was there only to speak with Captain Holden and, truth be told, she was way too tired to allow any other thoughts in her mind. The time difference between Hawaii and California was minimal, but she hadn't had a decent night of sleep in a while.

   After that, Cath only stopped at the hotel room she had checked in to take a shower; thirty minutes later, she was wandering through the streets of Oahu.

   For a whole hour, Cath walked with no destination. She considered going to the Five-0 headquarters but dismissed the idea one second later. It was almost 10pm when she found herself in front of Steve's place.

   The house was immersed in darkness, meaning he was still working. So, she decided to sit and wait to not lose the courage. She fell asleep at some point after 11:25pm. Now, here she was. With Steve.

   Steve. To be with Steve again was great but, at the same time, a bit scary. The growing anxiety was the main responsible for the latter one and sitting there didn't help Cath at all.

   She stayed there for only a few more seconds, until the silence became too much for her to bear. Standing up and trying to ignore her stomach that was revolving and threatening to make her poor breakfast to return, Cath crossed Steve's living room, heading towards the back door.

   She pulled the sides of her trench coat closer to her body and watched as the waves came forward to kiss the shore.

—

   Steve heard the low click when the back door was opened, but didn't hear it closing. Instantly, he left the kitchen to check what was it when he saw the black cascade of hair that was falling down Cath's back.

   He watched as she walked through his lanai and disappeared into the darkness. He knew she wouldn't leave but, even though he was sure of it, Steve felt a bit uneasy when her form mixed with the night and he couldn't see where she was.

   Steve waved that feeling away and returned to check the water that was already boiling. Less than a minute later, he had two mugs of hot tea and was heading to the beach, where he knew Cath would be.

   She was standing very close to the water, her eyes fixed on the ocean when he approached her.

   "Here," Steve said, standing by her side and handing her one of the mugs.

   Cath never heard Steve coming, but his unique scent announced his presence. It startled her how she still remembered him like that.

   "Thank you."

   For a few minutes, not a single word was uttered. Both had a million things to say, but the silence prevailed, until Cath finally broke the ice.

   "I almost forgot how beautiful this is..." She was talking about the view, but also about something else. Something that she was seeking to restore. Something that made her leave, but that also brought her back.

   "You're not the only one," Steve whispered. They both looking straight ahead. "I think... we all have these moments when we don't see what's right in front of our eyes..."

   "Yeah... I think you're right."

   Silence threatened to fall again but Steve was determined to not allow it.

   "Where have you been, Cath?"

   She didn't answer right away. It took her long ten seconds to finally give Steve an answer. Cath forced herself to look at him when she told him the truth.

   "California."

   Steve didn't hide his surprise. "California? Wow..." He didn't know what he was expecting to hear but that wasn't it.

   "Not wow... I'm assigned to Coronado."

   "Coronado? Since when?"

   Cath took a deep breath. "Four months."

   Steve didn't have to do the math or think too much to understand what she was saying. When she left, four months ago, she was being reassigned.

   "I see."

   Cath shifted her eyes to the ground, looking carefully to her feet and to the sand beneath it. It was hard to look in Steve's eyes. "I... I asked for it."

   "Why?" It was an obvious question but Steve asked anyways.

   "I thought I needed perspective."

   "Right... And how did that go?"

   Cath shivered with the coldness of Steve's words. She tried to fight it with the hot beverage, but it didn't work.

   "Pretty crappy," she said with a strangled smile that faded very quickly.

   Once again, Cath found herself biting on her lower lip. She was nervous.

   Steve's face was expressionless. Cath couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking.

   "Look, Steve, I know I don't have the right to come here after what I've done, but..." Her voice failed and, one more time, she looked away. Cath couldn't stand the intensity of those deep blue eyes that were staring into the depths of her soul.

   But Steve wanted to hear. He wanted to know what happened. He needed answers. Even though he had a lot to say, he wanted to know what brought her back and he needed to see the words coming from her eyes as well. So, he took one tiny step to his left, standing in front of Cath and blocking her view of the ocean.

   "But...?"

   Cath swallowed hard. The words seemed to pile up in her throat and she couldn't let them out. She didn't know how to say it. The whole _"just say it"_ thing didn't work. It never worked to her.

   She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she was finally able to speak.

   "I thought that, if I was away, I..." Cath couldn't say the words. She was ashamed of her decision of running away when things got complicated. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I wanted to apologize."

   Once again, Steve didn't hide the surprise — actually, he didn't even try.

   "Cath..."

   He wanted to say something but, now that the bundle of words that had accumulated in her throat, she couldn't stop. It was like a faucet was opened and its valve was broken so the words just kept flowing and flowing out of Cath's mouth.

   "I know things were hard and I know that we didn't exactly have a commitment but... when I was in Coronado, something was bothering me. Not a little; a lot. I was deeply bothered by what I did. The way I did. I ran away."

   "Cath..."

   "And this wasn't the real me! I'm not a woman who takes the easy way out and avoids everything, but that's what I did. I did it... I'm not proud of it, but I know better than to deny my actions. I denied a lot and for a long time, until I couldn't anymore. It was eating me alive and it got to a point where I felt pain. Distance wasn't working, denial wasn't working, nothing was working! And I needed to do something about it."

   "Cath..."

   "I know we weren't a couple and I know we weren't in a established relationship. Perhaps what we had was some sort of impossible and maybe that was it, you know. Maybe- maybe because we never had a real beginning or an end I couldn't stop— wondering, and..."

   "Cath!" Steve didn't want to rise his voice but Cath wasn't listening to any of his attempts to say something.

   She stopped abruptly, pressing her lips together and looking at Steve, who was staring at her and had both hands on her arms — his mug was placed on the sand, next to his feet. Her breathing was rapid, just like her heart rate.

   It took Steve a little while until he said something; the silence that followed Cath's outburst was deafening. After a few long seconds, she felt like her heart was on her throat, about to jump out of her body through her mouth and her stomach had turned into something with the consistency of jelly.

   Cath had let out a lot and she never did such thing. She always had everything under control, she always prided herself for being able to be in control of everything in her life. But now... Those four months...

   "I gave up."

   Steve's solemn words made Catherine's mind go numb; it hit her so hard and she felt like the ground beneath her feet had opened and she was being dragged all the way down. She was on free fall and had nothing to hold her at the bottom.

   "After you left... I denied a lot too. I thought— no. No, I didn't think. I convinced myself that I should... respect your decision. I mean, I couldn't force you to do something you didn't want to do... and it was obvious to me you didn't want to stay..."

   Cath was operating on automatic mode. She was not the one in control of her body. After she heard Steve saying he had gave up, the first thought that occurred to her was to run. Run as far as hell away from there. He had given up; what the hell was she still doing there? But she couldn't move a muscle. She was frozen. Her muscles were static. So, she stood there, just hearing while Steve struggled with his words as his voice failed every now and then.

   "You walked away and I accepted that... I accepted it and I kept going. I woke up every day and I went to work every day. My routine was just the same... but then, I noticed, it wasn't. More and more I was trying to get as busy as I could and I succeeded. I was so focused on keeping my mind full that I didn't see the real deal. I gave up. I accepted it without a word when I had a lot to say.

   "You're right. We weren't a couple. We never had a proper beginning and, when things don't have a starts, they never get to a real end. So, when we made our choices, things weren't as simple as a goodbye. There were things left unsaid, things left undone..."

   Steve paused to breathe and, when he looked at Cath, he could see the conflict of emotion in her eyes.

   "You left, Cath..."

   Catherine tried to swallow the lump on her throat but didn't succeed. It was impossible. Every time she was reminded of her monumental mistake, she felt like a knife was stabbing her, poking on her raw and tender skin. Her wound would never heal, and it was all her fault.

   "I did," she whispered weakly. Her eyes were starting to get itchy and she knew she was on the verge of crying. She blinked, trying to send them away. Didn't work. A single tear fell from her left eye, leaving a glowing track down her cheek.

   Steve saw the liquid emotion flowing out of Cath's body. The onslaught of emotions became evident. He could now touch the turmoil she felt inside.

   Cath shivered when Steve's thumb brushed her cheek, drying the path of the evidence of her broken heart. Her already shattered heart hurt when she thought she'd never feel that touch again.

   Closing her eyes, Cath thought to herself: "I'm a coward..."

   She had ruined everything by avoiding her feelings and now... now there was nothing she could do about it.

   Steve's fingertips lingered on the skin of her cheeks and the tears were starting to pool behind her eyelids, but she couldn't cry. She wouldn't cry.

   "No. You're not," Steve said softly and she froze.

   Snapping her eyes open, Cath noticed his eyes on hers. She had said those words out loud.

   "You're a human."

   "I made a mistake..."

   "So did I."

   "I ran away from you..."

   "And I didn't fight for you..."

   Cath didn't quite believe what was happening. What did he just say? He made a mistake too.

   "What... now what?" she whispered weakly while trying to make her heart calm down. It was pounding beneath her ribs.

   Steve brushed her hair behind her ear.

   "Now, it depends… Did you have dinner?"

   He smirked pleased when she choked.

   Steve slid his arms around her waist at the same moment that Cath dropped her mug so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Their lips crashed together, along with their heated bodies. Despite the proximity, none of them noticed, but their hearts were now beating in perfect synchrony. Two had become one.

   With the moon and the stars as they witnesses, Steve and Cath made a promise. A promise to start again and make things work. Whatever it takes.

* * *

_"Remember the time I told you, the way that I felt_

_That I'd be lost without you and never find myself_

_Let's hold onto each other above everything else_

_Start over. Start over..."_

**Lifehouse ~ Whatever It Takes**


End file.
